Is there a word for “guilt over not making something?” I’m sure there’s a German word out there that expresses this sentiment perfectly: That feeling of remorse for not making or doing anything in a while.
There’s productivity guilt, but that’s not exactly the same thing. I’m talking hobbies and interests, not work.
Here at the year’s end, that’s been me. Sure, I make photographs all the time. But I feel guilty for not having any big projects in the works. I have ideas, but I always have ideas.
Instead, I have to tell myself it’s okay to take a break. Recharge my batteries. Start anew.
My bet is that once I start again, it’ll be hard to stop.
Have a great, safe holiday season and a very happy new year.
We don’t take vacations like this – so sunny and so tropical.
But when a friend turned 40 and invited us to a trip to Cancún, Mexico, with a group to celebrate, we enthusiastically came along. The warm Mayan Riviera climate when Michigan is facing down another long, cold, gray winter? Count us in.
Then the friend got COVID, and the rest of the couples bailed and took the trip credit for next year, leaving just us two.
We never did get a honeymoon. This is as good of a chance as any.
There were reservations about airplane travel across an international border. We had to leave the kids for six days just as Michigan’s COVID-19 numbers were spiking. And after my grandmother passed away and we took on a kitchen remodel project, we were leaving an awful lot of undone.
In the end, it was well worth it. The resort community in Cancún took guest health and safety very seriously (even wearing masks on a windy beach – a bit overkill if you ask me). We did all the adventuring we could fit in a few days, and we took advantage of quiet, warm beach days to simply breathe and enjoy the view. Cancún was a mix of old and new that was a lot of fun to explore with my camera – from the Mayan ruins to downtown Playa del Carmen’s shopping district, with a lot of peninsular jungle in between. Plus lots of tequila.
So wet, in fact, that our street flooded on a rainy Friday evening. We got back from a family gathering and there was a city worker out in the street, knee-deep in water, clearing out the storm drain.
“It’s like this all over town,” he told me.
When the leaves fall, they clog those drains, and with all the rain we’ve had, it was a recipe for a river.
After one rainstorm, everything was glistening and damp in the yard, so I headed outside with the trusty Nifty 50mm to grab a few photos.
Created with RNI Films app. Preset ‘Kodak Gold 200 v.5’
Created with RNI Films app. Preset ‘Kodak Gold 200 v.5’
Created with RNI Films app. Preset ‘Kodak Gold 200 v.5’
Created with RNI Films app. Preset ‘Kodak Gold 200 v.5’
Created with RNI Films app. Preset ‘Kodak Gold 200 v.5’
Created with RNI Films app. Preset ‘Kodak Gold 200 v.3’
Created with RNI Films app. Preset ‘Kodak Gold 200 v.5’
The way we treat our phones now, I supposed getting my iPhone 13 mini was like getting a new camera.
So I took it for a spin on a sunny Sunday in late September, a few days after receiving it in the mail. And just as I figured, it was just as my iPhone SE was: a camera. Simple.
The new wide-angle lens on this iPhone is fun to play around with, but it’s not really my style. I’m more of a 35-50mm guy. Having that wide of a view may be good for landscapes and dramatic shots with fun angles, but it doesn’t fit my photography. In fact, I wish the mini iPhones had the Pros’ telephoto lens instead. I’d use that much more.
That said, I may be able to use the nifty portrait settings on the front-facing camera to try out some people shots. Here’s me with a fresh haircut:
Not bad, considering the subject. The fake bokeh is pleasant, but the high-key options are a bit garish.
The only thing I’m missing now is a tried-and-true photo editing app on the iPhone. My beloved Filmborn is MIA from the App store, VSCO is a confusing mess, and that leaves RNI Films and Darkroom in my list of go-to editing apps.
Even though our local county fair has a new layout, and even if I was a bit nervous being around so many people, I used the return of our fair as a photo walk.
Over the years, the county fair has been one of my favorite photography subjects: the bright colors, the summer haze, the motion, and the prime people watching. For one night, we did the family outing, and for the other night, I went by myself to concentrate on photography.
I took my trusty Canon 5D and three lenses – 20mm, 50mm, and 100mm – to add some variety. In the end, I wound up mostly using the reliable 50mm, but the 100mm allowed me to get some people shots from a (social) distance.
It was a hot, sweaty night, as it usually is in August, full of fried smells and flashing lights.
Living in Michigan, no matter where you are in the state, you’re never more than an hour or two away from one of the Great Lakes.
Our proximity to these bodies of water inspires so many of our summer family vacations. This year, we went north to the Traverse City and Leelanau Peninsula region. We love our Door County, Wisconsin vacations so much that we wanted a similar experience this summer. With its apple and cherry orchards, numerous lakes, and varied landscape, the peninsula provided everything we look for in a holiday.
Despite the rain, we had a great vacation – a great mix of playing outdoors, relaxing by the lake, and exploring M-22 and the Sleeping Bear Dunes.
A funny thing happened at the world-renowned dunes: we visited during a particularly foggy day, where all of Lake Michigan was enshrouded in a heavy vapor. From the top of the dunes, you couldn’t see the lake at all.
We all looked on in amazement. It’s like we were staring at the edge of creation – down the dunes, you would fall off the end of the world.
Luckily, further north along the dunes, we did find a place to sit on the beach and swim in Lake Michigan.
Our state is fairly average in almost every way – except the scenery. If this is the edge of the world, we’re happy to be here.
While it’s a bittersweet emotion, nostalgia can be used to “counteract loneliness, boredom, and anxiety.” Think of that feeling you get when you flip through an old photo album, or listen to a favorite album. Nostalgia, while wistful, helps you think of good memories. It’s grounding, and gives you roots.
Maybe that’s why I’ve been on a nostalgiafest here lately. In the past year, I’ve made a point to relive things from my past that, at one point, I knew I loved. The feeling is especially strong with movies: I watched (and continue to watch) a ton of movies growing up. Now, I’m revisiting those late ’80s and early ’90s films that I watched over and over again (and haven’t watched since), primarily comedy classics like Major League, Funny Farm, and Naked Gun. For one, they’re funny, and those movies brighten my mood.
And two, I have great feelings associated with those 30-year old films. With the pandemic and all the anxiety surrounding it, it’s nice to dip into the past and relive something that’s fun and frivolous.
It’s the same with classic books – Frog and Toad with the kids, say – and albums. I’m even browsing through my Lightroom catalog from years past and scrolling through my iPhone photo library to remember the times when I took a ton of pictures. Remember that?
I think about that scene in Inside Out where the memory globes become bi-colored – both joyful and sad. Memories are rarely pure joy or pure sadness. Nostalgic feelings, especially, have twinges of melancholy with the feel-good moments.
That’s how I feel: a little good, a little crummy. So I’m feeding that with nostalgia in all its forms.
