Love and Respect
This weekend, I lost a brother and a best friend. Rest in Peace, John Neff.
John seemed to be everyone’s big brother, really. He took care of people, was considerate, and tried to help whenever he could. He led our fraternity during difficult times. He provided invaluable counsel and wisdom. We always joked he was an old man, even in his early 20s – maybe “old soul” is more appropriate.
But for me, Neff really was my big brother. In our fraternity, Alpha Tau Omega, he helped induct me. He taught me so much and got me out of more than one scrape. One time he even had to drive me to the hospital after a diabetic episode. Many other times, he rescued me from my own bad decisions. And with big life decisions, during and after college, he was there to lend an ear and some wisdom. He was the brother I never had.
Neff was a rabble-rouser, a lover of education, a trivia nut, and a music appreciator. A fellow Mac and photography enthusiast, it was Neff who sparked my joy of “fancy cameras.” We had so many adventures together taking photos – whether in freezing cold downtown Chicago, boiling hot downtown Toledo, or in and around the Cleveland area.
Neff was the best man at my wedding. He was there a few days before Jaime and I got married, and sure enough, we took our cameras and explored a bit of Jackson County together. I was proud to have him by my side, acknowledging my special day, and joking around with the rest of the fraternity family we rarely saw. I was proud to be in his and Laura’s wedding too – long before I was ready for something as mature as marriage.
A few of us were lucky enough to take in one more ball game in Cleveland with Neff last summer. I’m so thankful we did. One last night at John and Laura’s house, one last big breakfast at a local diner together. And while we only saw each other every year or so, Neff and I talked constantly: fun, inappropriate text conversations, or a call to catch up. He was kind enough to check in, and each time we talked it was like we had never been apart.
It feels like he’s still there, just waiting to reply, “Oh, Dave” with that chuckle of his. An in-joke here, an Adrian College memory there. Now suddenly, he’s gone.
With Laura and his girls, Neff had a beautiful family. I feel so much for them, and I can’t imagine how much it hurts to lose a husband and a father. I love the entire Neff family. I loved John in the way that two people who share a bond as strong as right itself do.
It’s too soon, brother. There were still so many more memories to make.
Love and respect, Neff. Always and forever.