So You’re Thinking About Protesting the Coronavirus
MY RIGHTS ARE BEING TAKEN AWAY!
No, they are not. You can’t yell “fire” in a crowded theatre, and you can’t go boating right now. You can still buy seeds, plant your garden, buy food, get gas – you’re merely being inconvenienced for a short-term period.
If you’re such a big fat baby, maybe protesting isn’t for you?
IT’S MY RIGHT TO GET A HAIRCUT/GO BOATING/GO GOLFING!
Driving isn’t a right, it’s a privilege. You can get those privileges taken away if you’re a dumb shit. Same here: none of those activities are enshrined in either the federal or state constitution. You don’t have the right to go bowling.
Also, it’s spring. It snowed yesterday. Maybe build a snowman instead?
MICHIGAN’S GOVERNOR IS BEING DRACONIAN! SHE’S A NAZI!
Neat. The governor of Ohio – a male, white Republican – has perhaps more drastic measures in place. What is he?
The Nazis discriminated based on race and orientation, loaded people up in trains, and killed them en masse. They tried to take over the world. You can’t go *golfing.*
The last protest had a bunch of white dudes flying dipshit Confederate flags, holding guns, and wearing the same red Made-in-China hats. Who looks like a Nazi?
Maybe read a book instead of protesting?
THIS WHOLE THING IS AN OVERREACH BY OUR GOVERNMENT! IT’S GONE TOO FAR!
Okay. People were doing this during the 1918 Spanish flu. And the communities that isolated stayed alive.
Our government’s first job is to keep its citizens safe and healthy (and deliver the mail, but that’s another point). The evidence shows these measures work, and keep people safe and alive.
If your appendix is going to burst, do you want some politician, preacher, or news network talking head doing surgery on you? No. We listen to experts because they know what they’re talking about. They have experience. They can do the work.
Apart from government, businesses also see the need to close facilities and keep their employees safe. Are they wrong?
BUT THE ECONOMY!
Yep, it sucks. Makes you wonder why the federal government is giving loans to giant businesses who don’t need them instead of small businesses that do…
Maybe you should protest in Washington, DC instead!
THE CORONAVIRUS IS NO DIFFERENT THAN THE FLU! WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL?
Great! Let someone with COVID-19 sneeze in your face.
And isn’t it weird that a lot of those protestors were wearing masks. What’s the big deal?
LIBERATE VIRGINIA/MICHIGAN/MINNESOTA!
Go fuck yourself.
Hope this guide helps you block hospitals treating their patients with your “I NEED A HAIRCUT” sign and put more people in danger!