Lately, I’ve had the itch to get out and shoot more. Sometimes, hobbies can come and go in waves – often depending on what else is going on in life. Right now feels like a crest, where I want go make more photos.
Saturday evening at Sandhill Crane Vineyards was a good chance to shoot. It was a lovely summer evening, with off and on clouds, and the sun was popping in and out of the clouds. As soon as it popped out during sunset, I took a walk around their mini festival to see what I could see.
And something different: I strapped a EF 28mm f/1.8 to my Canon EOS M, using the EF-to-M adapter, for a ~42mm field of view. 40mm tends to be my comfort zone. Even though the camera felt a little front-heavy, the FOV was perfect.
So was the light, and the setting, and the music and drinks all around.
This weekend, I lost a brother and a best friend. Rest in Peace, John Neff.
John seemed to be everyone’s big brother, really. He took care of people, was considerate, and tried to help whenever he could. He led our fraternity during difficult times. He provided invaluable counsel and wisdom. We always joked he was an old man, even in his early 20s – maybe “old soul” is more appropriate.
But for me, Neff really was my big brother. In our fraternity, Alpha Tau Omega, he helped induct me. He taught me so much and got me out of more than one scrape. One time he even had to drive me to the hospital after a diabetic episode. Many other times, he rescued me from my own bad decisions. And with big life decisions, during and after college, he was there to lend an ear and some wisdom. He was the brother I never had.
Neff was a rabble-rouser, a lover of education, a trivia nut, and a music appreciator. A fellow Mac and photography enthusiast, it was Neff who sparked my joy of “fancy cameras.” We had so many adventures together taking photos – whether in freezing cold downtown Chicago, boiling hot downtown Toledo, or in and around the Cleveland area.
Neff was the best man at my wedding. He was there a few days before Jaime and I got married, and sure enough, we took our cameras and explored a bit of Jackson County together. I was proud to have him by my side, acknowledging my special day, and joking around with the rest of the fraternity family we rarely saw. I was proud to be in his and Laura’s wedding too – long before I was ready for something as mature as marriage.
A few of us were lucky enough to take in one more ball game in Cleveland with Neff last summer. I’m so thankful we did. One last night at John and Laura’s house, one last big breakfast at a local diner together. And while we only saw each other every year or so, Neff and I talked constantly: fun, inappropriate text conversations, or a call to catch up. He was kind enough to check in, and each time we talked it was like we had never been apart.
It feels like he’s still there, just waiting to reply, “Oh, Dave” with that chuckle of his. An in-joke here, an Adrian College memory there. Now suddenly, he’s gone.
With Laura and his girls, Neff had a beautiful family. I feel so much for them, and I can’t imagine how much it hurts to lose a husband and a father. I love the entire Neff family. I loved John in the way that two people who share a bond as strong as right itself do.
It’s too soon, brother. There were still so many more memories to make.
“Go touch grass” is such a meme these days. And for good reason – after almost three years of pandemic isolation, we could all use some fresh air. We probably spend too much time online, especially on social media, and it can affect our wellbeing.
This year, I’m trying my best to get outside more. During the pandemic, I made taking a walk at lunchtime a new habit to help my mental and physical health. But “outside” can also mean away from the internet, or away from your everyday. Now is always the best time to see or do something new.
And while you’re at it, grab your camera and capture what you experience.
For my last two big portrait projects, Artists In Jackson and Musicians In Jackson, my goal was to interview and photograph local creatives and assemble those stories into a book. Prep, execute, deliver – all in one big thing.
I had the thought: what if, instead of treating them as projects, I treat them as platforms.
Instead of disappearing for a few months and coming out with a deliverable – like Moses carrying down a photo book carved in stone and delivered by divine inspiration – those projects become a channel that has regularly updated photos and stories. Instead of releasing a set of stories as a book, I keep releasing stories and never really finish.
Now, I could collect those stories and photos – say, every 20 – into something like a book. But the book isn’t the point. The doing is the point. It keeps building, more like a seasonal Netflix show than a daily newspaper.
This would relieve some of the pressure of feeling like I had to make a collection of something. As an alternative, I keep writing and making pictures and posting something when I have time. These projects become more like living, breathing websites than printed, finished books. The stories then become material for social media, newsletters, and website updates, rather than the reverse.
I’ve been collecting lists of creatives that I missed out on the first time around. By building and adding to that list, I can keep the stories coming – as long as I’m alive to tell them, potentially.
We had a record ice storm hit Michigan last week. It swept across the U.S., but on Wednesday night, it struck the Great Lakes with particular fury.
That night, we listened anxiously while tree branches cracked and fell, breaking power lines all around us. We had an oak tree snap in half and block our street because of the weight of the ice. I braved falling branches the next morning to go around the yard and document everything sheathed in a clear coat. By the afternoon, all the ice had melted. The storm swept in and swept out quickly.
For two nights, we huddled in the basement as a family, wrapped in blankets while the temperature inside the house dipped to 47° F. We only got the power back on Saturday, and what a relief. But driving around town and seeing all the wreckage, we were lucky.
I’m not Catholic, but I do love the idea of giving stuff up for a limited time from now through Easter. I’m in the Ben Franklin school of self-experimentation, and I’ve been giving up things I love for years. Potatoes, coffee (ugh! that was a rough one), alcohol – limitations are good, and knowing you can survive without these things builds character.
This video by HealthyGamerGG kick-started my flirtations with Lent deprivation this year. I was initially attracted to the title (“Why Finding Purpose Is SO HARD Today”), but after watching, Dr. Alok Kanojia’s points made a lot of sense about life in general.
I do tend to stuff my brain with external stimuli. I don’t let myself get bored anymore. And while I’ve taken up meditation again this year, it is a bummer to read social media all the time and not have time to just sit and think.
So for Lent, I gave up Twitter.
Twitter is a trashbin on fire these days, with all the behind-the-scenes ownership and business fumbles it’s made. I choose not to follow that stuff closely, but I have noticed that Twitter mostly brings me negative news. It’s a bummer to scroll through tweets every day. Giving it up means not allowing that negativity into my brain. It also means more quiet time to do something else.
Like edit photos! Or take photos! Or anything else that actually brings me joy.
While this blog post will appear on Twitter, thanks to a WordPress plugin, I won’t see it or the reaction. Instead, I can devote more time to being bored, thinking about my purpose, and reducing my overall anxiety.
Here’s a harsh truth: I’ve taken fewer photos each passing year since 2015.
It’s not for lack of trying or interest. No, it’s mostly because the rest of life got busier – three kids, a demanding job, a new house, chores, spending time with family, etc.
(Another consequence of moving home and work is that I don’t have an interesting commute anymore. It’s mostly city and highway driving instead of the beautiful back country roads that used to fuel my hobby.)
That means, besides family vacations and a rare sunbeam coming into the home office, I have fewer and fewer photos to take, edit, and post for public consumption. And I miss doing that! I miss the process of capturing pictures and making them my own.
Lately, my solution has been to go back and rediscover some of my past work. I can look at it with fresh eyes, and tinker a bit. I have a good selection of photos that I’ve taken but never touched or shared in the years since.
Take my film portraits from the Musicians In Jackson project. I was initially so dissatisfied with how they turned out that I shelved them in favor of the digital versions. Now, looking back at them, they were actually pretty fun, and using a bit of Lightroom magic, I can make them look how I prefer.
There’s a ton of abandoned pictures and others that are stuck in a Lightroom folder somewhere. All I have to do is look for them, play with the sliders, and boom – something to share.
Now, that also means I’ll eventually run out. And I can’t fix the not-enough-time-for-picture-making problem – not easily. But this scratches the creative itch well enough to keep me busy for a while.
